Faith, Love, past.... I miss you?

Hey guys,

When I feel a little sad and lost I tend to like to write how I feel and it makes me open up to myself and really see what I want and such.

I wish my life was like a romantic movie! You know how its going to finish and you know you're going to end up happy and everything will turn out fabulous! Saddly we have to dodge through life wondering who we are, where we are going to end up and with who.

We go through first loves, bad breakups, and in the end you feel so dumb but then you meet someone new and then the whole cycle goes around again.

Ok so you guys get the point of this subject. LOVE. GOD. I HATE IT.

For a while I've been doing great with life but as soon as I got back to college and saw.... him. hmm . Ex? I guess that can be a.... term we can use hahaha well basically I wasn't ready to see him. 

I don't know, I guess my emotions are going all over the place and perhaps it's all in my head but seriously come on! Hahahaha, why can't some prince charming just walk in and give me a flower and wisk me up on his feet and happily ever after? 

Why go through all this pain, hiding it telling yourself you're over them, and that life moves on and you will find someone else? I'm trying to act positive and I really am!
But then there's those moments you're like. Wow . Yes I've changed so much these past few months though why am I still thinking about the past!? 

Past is past, I mean yes the past can come back in the futur but really? Should I really think of that?
Should I really murder the inside of my body thinking some aspects of the past will come back?
No, I shouldn't...

I wonder if scientist will finally create some kind of anti biotic who provides memory lost of certain events so I can be happy and live a care free world like a little puppy trying to catch a fly not knowing the world is so much more!

I have faith though, I'm happy, life is going pretty well. Have great grades, taking lots of pictures, converting my style and starting a dream student job!
One day my prince charming will sweep me away from my feet whoever that person is! 

 When? Who knows, but I can't wait!

Who are you?

Hey dudes!

Well today was my first day back at college since... 6 months ago because of our strike! And let me tell you, when you haven't attended school in that long and then all of a sudden you get back right into it and start pounding into concrete subjects your head kind of hurts and you feel like melting into a puddle of desperation. 

OK. I will admit I'm being a little dramatic but I had classes from 8 to 6 and let me tell you at 6 I was dead.... Again, not actually dead but you know what I mean!

I have to admit it does feel good to be back and see friends I haven't seen in a while, and to be able to learn new things and get back to the average life of a student!

At lunch I just sat there, dozing off of my friends conversation and just looking around me, seeing all these different people and watching them as they hurry through the halls. So many people, all at once.

I felt new in a kind of way even though I'm not. Like if I want to just go up to a group of people and make new friends, but somehow I feel a little shy, so I content myself in just watching them go and then eventually drift back to my friends conversations about everything and nothing.

This all got me to think of who am I? Have you ever asked yourself who you were?

Obviously you are a human, don't be silly, what I'm trying to explain is who are you inside? What do you want to become? I want to become a professionnal photographer, who is sociable, fun to be around, always positive and who is a great lover and friend.

Who am I right now? I am a young lady, struggling to succeed, a dreamer, who is sociable, who is trying to be a 100% positive and who is trying to become a better person, a person who people can trust, love.

I have to say it is kind of hard because I'm still young and haven't really seen the real world.

Up to now I have experienced my childhood years and now I'm finishing up my teenage years. And yes I'm going to admit it, teenage years are crucial. I'm ready for those years to be finished and start up in the adult world. It seems kind of scary in a way but if you think of it all stages in life are scary. 

Anyways enough with the chit chat, in an older blogg I wrote, I explained how my favorite photographer Lara Jade use to use herself as a model to create her photographs to practice with and create cool concepts.

Well I did the same again! It's a weird concept but creativity and originality is one prestigeous quality you must have to become a photographer. 

So yes, you have me sitting in a bath tub looking somewhat adventurous. I look at this picture and honestly I have no idea why but the first thing that pops in my head is: Alice in Wonderland.
Why you may ask?
I don't know, it just seems as if I was in my own world, discovering the confort of a bath tub.... WEIRD. Or wondering how I got there. Like if someone just threw a spell on me and I landed there!
It's up to you on how you feel when you look at this picture. 

Like a lot of people say: « A picture can express a thousand words »
Enjoy,

Working with kids and animals

Hey dudes!

Hope you had a great weekend! I sure did!

I partied a little too hard this weekend and today I've been kind of mellow! But it was worth it.

Now lets get to the point.

You know how you aren't suppose to work with kids and animals? 

Well I was a little rebel and tried it!

Let me tell you this, I'm a perfectionist artist, so I always need my photographs to look perfect as I see them, and lets just say when you are working with a kid and an animal at the same time it can be crucial.

Crucial? YES. Either the animal is all perfectly placed but then the kid starts moving around, you get the kid back to where he's supposed to be and then the animal moves etc etc.

It gets frustrating and instead of taking an hour it takes 2 hours to get what you really want.

So here I was with my sweet little cousin and my dog. And yes it was frustrating especially cause my dog is kind of dumb in a way and doesn't seem to understand the word ''STAY''. But it was all worth it in the end.

The last picture I took was by far my favorite.( the one they're both lying down in under the fence) I can look at this photo over and over again. Why? Because it reminds me on when I was younger and felt caring towards an animal. You can tell she loves animals, and when you look at these pictures you can tell they are somehow whispering to each other, knowing what they are thinking about.

Now I use to horseback ride a lot, I had this horse named Dusted AKA Unexpected Twist. We use to be so close that I could feel what he was feeling vice versa. It was magical, and I believe it's a true gift to be able to click in with an animal. 

My cousin clicked in with my dog, I guess she has that gift too.

These photos are really charming, even though it took me a while to get some good shots enjoy,

Happiness.

Hey dudes!

This picture isin't special and such, just a crazy girly photo I took of myself just a couple of hours ago just having a silly moment. Though it is in Manual focus ;) hahahahaha!
ANYWAYS, I just wanted to write about how happy I am today. 

You know those days when you just feel really happy, you don't really know why but you are? Well that's me today.

Perhaps I'm viewing life in a more positive way which is making my bubbliness pop out more voluntary!

And this all brings me to the feeling of happiness!

To you what is happiness exactly? Obviously it has to be an emotion, but isin't it more than a simple emotion?

Could happiness be some kind of religion?

Or some kind of weird karmaish thing? (yes you can put karmaish in the Alex dictionnary!)
To me I find happiness more like some kind of religion. Because put it this way, if you don't commit to happiness, you won't be a 100% happy. 

Just like religion, if you don't commit to a certain religion, you aren't fully religious! Is there even such thing in being half religious? ..... I guess so but it doesn't really match in my head. If you really want to be a part of something you go all the way and commit.

Same to happiness. If you don't commit fully you're not really happy..

And don't be all like « Well I try but there's always problems in my life.. etc etc. » NO EXCUSE! I learned it! I had a lot of problems and that are still continuing in my life right now and for the longest time I was so fed up and never really felt happiness. Until I looked at myself and told myself « Holy crap Alex, snap out of it, there's people in this world that have worse problems then you and are fine. You are beautiful, smart and you strive to become successful. Yes you make mistakes but that's life and destiny! Just let go of things and be happy. You only live once! » 

Bam. And you know what? It worked! I've been really happy and seeing life in positive ways. Ok, I have to admit yoga did help a lot also, there's something in that sport that makes you think, meditate and love who you are. It's 90 minutes of you and only you. (OK once again there are other people in the room but you still work on yourself, you don't pay attention to the others) 

So I guess what I'm trying to point out in this post is that just be happy. Let go of the things who are bothering you. Yes life is hard, some people are scumbags who try to ruin you, but you know what? You are stronger than them! Those people who try to bring you down are nothing compared to you! You are beautiful! Those bad luck moments in life? Pffft. Don't worry about them! Because everytime there's a bad luck moment, there will be a goodluck moment!

Broken hearted? Or depressed by not finding a lover? It's okay... It's hard but you will see that there's someone out there who is wondering how life would be like with someone exactly like you, and that one day you will reunite!

Life is worth the struggle, but lets all struggle with smiling happy faces and try not to worry!! :) 

Enjoy,

Because when you are positive and happy, that's when miracles happen.

Hey dudes!

Hope everything is going well so far!
I've been doing great, and finally got my schedule out for college; I have thursdays and fridays off how cool is that?! Basically a 4 day weekend every week!
Speaking of weekends, this weekend was pretty relaxing. Friday night I managed to go out with one of my good friends and went to the funniest bar ever. Now when I say funniest, the DJ HAD TO BE around 70years old, and it was pourly maintained. But it was great! And in other words, the destination doesn't really care, it's with the people you're with! So as I was with my good friend, we meant up with others and we had an amazing time! I was really glad I went I needed to go out with some friends, meet new people and just enjoy my social life!

Other than that, saturday I decided to have a cleaning day in my house. I cleaned EVERYTHING. and took care of myself(beauty wise) for a girl, taking spa days makes us so much more zen and we feel so much better about ourselves. Besides it was a rainy disgusting day out so it was all worth it! 

Now last week I spent some time with my cousin. Now this girl is not only my cousin but my best friend also! She has always been there for me and I will always be there for her too. We have the best laughs and even though sometimes we don't do anything and we vedge out one day, it's always a good day!

One thing I really like about her is that she loves photography as much as I do!

We can spend a day with a camera just going to random places doing some photoshoots trying to look AWESOME! Hahahahaha!

I really needed to see her again, she is the best and she is one of the coolest people I've ever met. I guess everyone needs a friend like that. Someone to hear you cry, be with you in the best moments, and be a part of your life as much as your'e a part of theirs!

Someone you can just call up and plan a day together and look forward to it because you know how much you love that person.

People always think love only happens in relationships, but the strongest love I personally think is family love. And not only is she family but she is also my friend which goes into friendship love. The two most important loves you can possibly have. Because no matter how messed up you get they will always be there to hold you in and take care of you. (OK. some exceptions but I'm talking globaly!) 

 People got to stop being all sad about the finding the right person and being maddly in love. Because that is a part of love which you don't need. Obviously you want to have it, I mean who wouldn't?!! But don't go all depressed because when you stop and think of everything and everyone you have, you realized how much love you already have and that one day you will find that person but for now content yourself on hanging out with your friends and family and being positive and happy.

Because when you are positive and happy, that's when miracles happen.

Now is my favorite picture I took of my cousin. We took this photo in Saint-Sauveur in this forest it was really cool! I find it very fashionny(add in the Alex dictonnary) !

Enjoy,

Airports are my second home

Hey dudes!

So I finally came back from my little vacation at my fathers and well it's kind of sad being back!
Obviously everyone feels a little blue when they come back from an awesome trip but for me it's just like blahhhh. Hahaha!

I guess college is going to start up again (Lets hope because it has been since the end of feb we've been on strike) and I feel somewhat stupid not learning anything and the fact of forgetting what I learned the last semester....

So I guess the normal life is coming back; college, working, college, working, college, working. And then the occasional meeting new people, going out and having some social time of course!

 Summer is coming to an end and we got to make the best of it before our normal selves come back to our normal old routine again!

Anyways, I took this picture in the Montreal airport. Why you may ask? I was really bored, my phone was dying so I had to go find a plug and just sat there with my luggage not knowing what to do. I was kind of looking at my skateboard and was crazy tempted to skateboard but then I thought to myself some security guard will get mad and confiscate it.... So Then I was looking at the hallway and was mesmorized by the lighting; kind of dark, mysterious yet in a public place. So I decided to take the camera out and snap a few frames until I got to this one.

I guess airports have always been my second home. I constantly find myself at an airport and I know the place like the back of my hand. I guess it's because my parents work for airlines and so on but it's still pretty amazing how a young lady(me duh) can find her way around like if she was in her own house and then seeing some older humans who are totally lost. 

Anyways I really can't write longer I have a yoga class at 10 and gotta go get ready but enjoy your day!

Just relax and repair your soul

Hey dudes!

Again long time no see! Or should I say no write!

Hahaha, as you guys probably know I'm at my fathers since last friday for a mini getaway! There was just so much going on back home I needed a breather and let me tell you I'm feeling amazing!

Firstly I've been wakeboarding practically everyday which is working me out! Plus just being somewhere far from everyone feels great!

When things get a little out of hand sometimes the best thing you can do is fix yourself and go away to be alone for a while to rebalance your mind and soul and to become a better person, or just relax and zen out.

Like you might have noticed I have been practicing a lot of yoga and it really does help with my emotions and feeling my body and changing my inner self. Because after all these problems happening back home I was starting to feel a little crazy and out of control, but now I feel so relaxed and happy!

So what have I've been doing here? Well I've been wakeboarding, beaching, yoga, running and eating my grandmother's treats she bakes for me every time I come down! Oh she makes the BEST chocolate chunk scones hands down, don't try and correct me because it is true! And she told me today she was making me a carrot cake.... Hmm I wonder if she made it, I'm going to have to go and visit her tomorrow!

Speaking of grandma, another thing that feels good about being here is being with family. I mean yes I have family back home, but it feels good to be with my father and grandmother who I see rarely. My dad is the best man in the world, and I'm so very glad to have him as a father because he strives in supporting me and will always be there for me no matter what. He is probably the best person in the world, the only person I can talk about my problems (hey even boy problems he helps me! PFFT.) and he's great for just talking about random things and laughing.

Anyways all that to say that I'm having an amazing time but days are passing by and in a couple of days I'm going to have to head back home, but I'm ready to go back, be with friends, work and get ready for college!

Now last tuesday at the Keady market I met some pretty gnarly local longboarders raising money for SickKids foundation by longboarding from Owen Sound to Toronto. They were really sick, down to earth riders and they contacted me for a photoshoot. So we went out and it was fun! These guys crack me up and we had a blast even though it was so hot out!

Anyways here are some photos from the shoot, and you guys should go support them by liking their FB page : P.S.K Push for Sick Kids. 

Enjoy,