Hey dudes,
I know it has been a while, seriously I've been wanting to write one since last thursday but I just couldn't find inspiration on what to write because I was just so damn busy!
Okay well I'm still really busy seriously life is on a roll non stop it's like ''LIFE GIVE ME A DAY OFF WHERE I CAN JUST SLEEP AND EAT JUNK FOOD AND WATCH LOVE MOVIES ON NETFLIX!''
But no.
Well at the same time I'm glad because hey I just got my first official contract with Efashionista who is a fashion company who creates fashion events around Canada! So I guess being busy is a good thing.
But again like I said before I wanted to write a blog a while back but had no inspiration.
And now I do.
People now look at me and think I'm fine. That things are pulling together and that everything is turning out how I planned it. It has in a way, of course my fashion photography career is starting to carve and I'm enjoying every second of it, but another part of me is still lost trying to figure out what that one empty space I have in my body is.
I have became a much better person throughout the year and honestly, I'm a changed lady! Yes a real lady, who dresses up, acts older than she is, mature, beautiful... But there's something missing. It's hard to think of it because I have an amazing boyfriend, a caring family, friends who will always be there for me no matter what will happen and honestly I'm so grateful for.
But yet I feel somewhat as if there is something missing.
And now with a lot of thought I figured out finally what's still missing.
Well... missing.. I don't know if that's really the word to define it, really it should be ''what's wrong'' and that is because I can't close the door of my past yet.
As much as I want to, there's always a part of me that thinks of the past and how much I would go back to change so much... But I can't. But seriously if there's a genius out there that wants to make a shit ton of money I highly suggest they create a time capsule where I can go back and change a part of my past.
But then again if that did happen, and I decided to go into my future(AKA now) would it be the same? Maybe... But there are huge chances no.
And quite frankly I love the ''NOW'' part of my life. Even tho I'm a machine working 24hours daily on my career and trying to make it somewhere in life I really like it.
Maybe I just can't close the door yet because something needs to be said or done. But really it's time that heals the past and makes you shut that door. It's just like a long relationship and then all of a sudden it comes to an end. You feel like it's the end of the world but in reality it's the end of a simple chapter in your life. It takes time to heal and it's probably one of the worst pains you could ever have but everyone goes through with it. Just like the past.
So as much I would love to go back and change certain things I can't. I just need some more time to heal and wait for the day where the door fully shuts.
Until then, I have an amazing boyfriend who is there every step of the way as well as amazing friends who will always be there through the good and the bad and I'm so thankful for it.
Life is hard, and we can't keep beating ourselves up for it. We just have to breathe and take one step at a time and see what life gives us. I believe if you keep thinking positive thoughts and you keep yourself some hope, everything will turn out and the sun will shine a path to your happiness, no matter how hard it is.
Enjoy,
Hey dudes!!
So I was getting super stoked on the hot weather until I woke up this morning to hail.
Yes I did say hail.
WHY IS THERE HAIL?! IT'S SUMMER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Honestly I wanted to cry a river knowing I would have to wear a big warm sweater with pants and boots going to work today.
Oh the other thing? Tomorrow will be my last shift at work at Victoria's Secret!
You guys all must be like '' OMG HOW WHAT HAPPENED!???''
Well yeah basically there was a lot of problems at work and I couldn't stand them being somewhat disrespectful that I had to resign my job and try and find something else.
I will not go in further details but if curious please msg moi!
So yeah life of a poor struggling fashion designer.. How bad can it get right? Okay so now I will have more time to focus on my art and school as I reach for 100% at School(speaking of I just got my spring fashion project back and got a 90%) BOUYA! And now I'm getting ready to do another photo project soon with a girl in my class and lets just hope I do well because I have had a tiring day at work and I just feel like hiding in my covers and falling fast asleep!
Now with monday who rolled in and a start of a new week I feel quite fresh and ready to pounce on everything! Seriously, okay I might not have a job anymore (starting tomorrow night) But hey I shouldn't just be sad and mope around feeling sorry for myself. I mean life sucks and shit happens but that shouldn't bring me down so I like to think of it as destiny. Destiny made this happen because it has another plan for me. Perhaps it wanted me to find another better job in which I would love more and be more respected in or perhaps just focus more on school and my career as a photographer!
I'm not really sure what Destiny wants for me right now but I know it's for the best of my well being because I have been an amazing person since the last year and I have come along way!
Speaking of which last friday we had studio time in which I experienced lightpainting for the first time! I KNOW RIGHT!? SO AWESOME! Seriously I have never had this much fun in my life LEGIT!
So here are some pictures of my light painting session last friday hope you enjoy and see you guys soon! :)
Hey dudes!!
Well it's finally nice to see summer has arrived with our 20+ degree weather we have been having for the past week and a half now!
Although when you come to think of it we never really had a spring! Legit I swear! It was like winter winter winter and then PAFF SUMMER IT'S HOT NO HOODIE OR RAINCOAT TIME IT'S TIME TO WEAR SHORTS AND TANK TOPS AND EAT ICE CREAM AND DRINK SANGRIAS ON PATIOS AND FEEL FOREVER YOUNG!
True fact indeed.
But other than that my resolution(okay not really my resolution but it seriously felt cool when I wrote that!) is to not get a tan so that I can get a healthy body........ So Last week I literally creamed myself with some SPF 50 and honestly I just realized yesterday as I hoped in the shower I'm starting to tan.
SO THAT FAILED MISERABLY! But oh well.. I guess a little tanned can't hurt that much eh?
So anyways I had a pretty busy weekend!! Saturday my friend from college and I decided to dress ourselves up super haute couture and walk around Old Port in Montreal and take pictures of each other to practice fashion shots on location and it sounded like a great idea until we got there and one of us had to go pose and people would be watching us as we posed and felt quietly embarrassed. Seriously, then it was my turn to go up and pose with my huge platforms and OMG I was embarrassed with people staring at me and then as I looked to my right some dude took a picture of me with his cell and I swear to god that photo must either be on instagram or FB by now and people making fun of me with it.
OH WELL. C'est la vie as I recall it was pretty rewarding later on in the day when we decided to go to Jack Astors and drink a good Sangria with Nachos and salads on a patio. But still that day was intense also thanks to like 30 degree weather making us sweat like pigs and letting our makeup drip down our faces!
And then Sunday where I spent most of my day in the studio shooting this quite charming and photogenic young man and then shooting my dear boyfriend for a photo project I have due this week, and I'm not complaining then because we were in a AC studio where it was cold and relaxing (well on my part). And then when that was done some people and I went to chill in a park for the rest of our day just relaxing and enjoying the last hours of the weekend roll by!
Now I would be sad about the weekend ending but quite frankly I'm not working at all again this week so I guess I'm still on my ''weekend'' which I will not complain! But then again I miss work terribly and it kind of sucks because I miss seeing my work buddies but hopefully hours will start to roll in soon... At least I hope!
Anyways I hope you had a fabulous weekend guys I did, and still am, and here are some pictures from my weekend shoot! Enjoy,
Hey dudes!!
So yeah news is I'm still in Vancouver. Yes Yes, I was stranded here and what a story!
Basically I get to the airport yesterday morning, check my suitcase and run through security, get to the get and wait.
The flight was way oversold, didn't get on and had to go wait for the other flight which was at 11:05. I almost got on thanks to two passengers who didn't show up but then as the sweet lady was about to give ne a pass to get on they showed up and honestly it was like a movie when everything's too good to be true and then PAFF.
So then she told me she put me on the next flight which was at 5 and it would land at 2am back home... Yeah cause I'm going to wait 5h at the airport hoping to get on this flight....
So I decided to give up and to not waste my day in the airport and to try again tomorrow. Of course my feet were having an allergic reaction to my MK flats which honestly after this little adventure I don't think I will ever wear again, I was eager to get to my suitcase, change and especially put my Vans on.
HA.
That's what I thought until when I went down to go get my bag they mistakenly sent it with the plane and that it's on its way to Montreal without me!
Okay so yeah I would normally be mad pissed and freak out but honestly I didn't do anything. I told myself things can't really get worse like come on I'm stranded somewhere without my bags, I have an allergic reaction and I feel gross and tired.
So I hoped on the shuttle bus and on my way back to the hotel and hey here's an excuse to go shopping right?!!
THANK GOD THERE WAS A FOREVER 21! Super cheap and casual clothes for every style! I bought myself nice pants with a T-shirt and a sweater and then I went to this cool little store called Plenty and bought myself some Tom flats to save my feet!
And then I went to Sephora and got a bunch of samples of my makeup to save me for tomorrow and such and yeah honestly I don't mind being here it's Vancouver and Vancouver is a beautiful city!
After a nice Frap at Starbucks in the sun on a terrace I went back to the hotel to meet up with my dad who just finished his sim and we went out to get a few more things for me and chilled for the night!
Now today will be another exciting adventure as I try to get on a flight today except instead of trying to go to Montreal I will be flying to Toronto and then to Montreal!
And I think I will get on even if I don't really feel like getting on ahahaha!
Well it would be nice to get my suitcase back the poor thing waiting at the airport wondering where I am!
And not to mention my boyfriend practically dying of missing me thousand miles away begging for my return!(Yeah I'm being all dramatic I know, it gives a cool dramatic vibe!)
But in all this I learned to just stay calm, and that everything in life happens for a reason! Maybe I got stranded here because I wasn't ready to go home, or that I needed more time with my dad! I'm happy to be here but now I'm ready to come home even tho I will miss this place!
Enjoy,
Hey dudes!
Hope everything is well and happy weekend to all of you!
On my part it was a ruff start but finally things are starting to get better for my weekend!
I was trying to get on a flight to Vancouver last night and the flights were oversold and it was getting quite depressing waiting at the airport flight after flight of not getting home, and then as I gave up and headed to my apartment I got quite sad on the fact of not going.
Minutes after getting to my place I realized something about me: I never give up. I really don't and to be honest it wouldn't of been a big deal if I didn't go to Vancouver this weekend but just the thought of not getting on those planes that Friday night made me quite upset and I didn't want that (whatever it's called) win... So I booked myself on the first flight in the morning just as a fact of getting on that plane and telling myself I won't give up.
And I got on. Okay honestly if I wouldn't of gotten on that morning I would of went home for sure but something told me I had to.
And other thing, my head did not cooperate on the plane because as soon as we landed I swear to god my head felt like it was going to explode.
LIKE if someone was popping a pimple except they were popping my head. (That's kind of a gross statement of example but it's true)
So I hurried to the hotel and as I got there plunged myself in bed for an hour praying for my staggering headache to leave and then go out.
THANK GOD IT DID!
And you know how adventuress I get.. I HAD TO GO DO SOMETHING! So I left and found a really cool art gallery and museum about Vancouver which really inspired me.
First of all, as I lost myself in the museum I realized how many different cultures there really are in the world and especially in Canada. Over 50% of immigrants in Canada come to Vancouver makes it the city with the most immigrants in the whole country. It is mostly Chinese, Japanese, Italians, Greeks and Philippines. And the museum explained their different religions and how they influenced the country in being more equal. I also read up on how there are many temples in Vancouver where there are actual monks who live there where you can go meditate and visit. I think if I have time tomorrow considering it is my last day to go visit one of those temples because it's something I love and feel intrigued by. I've always loved meditation and yoga and all those kinds of things and perhaps an hour of good meditation could inspire me for my art and give me strength!
Now tomorrow I will get up bright and early to go take the sky train towards downtown where I'm hoping to walk along the ocean, perhaps visit the Vancouver aquarium, visit more art gallery and find some local fashion accessories I can bring home and share. There's something about Vancouver that inspires me and makes me feel peaceful, either it's the mountains and ocean surrounding the whole city, the great culture, or just the vibe. Maybe all in one perhaps and tomorrow I will share more photos of my small journey as for now I will share a couple of photos I took walking to the gallery. Enjoy,
Hey dudes!!
So I hope you guys had another wonderful weekend! It rained a bit on saturday but other than that it was beautiful and sunny and AWESOME!
Duh whenever it's sunny it's awesome! Like seriously I thought I was about to catch some kind of sickness from living in a grey disgusting boring world (temperature and weather wise) but then with this sun who peaked through this weekend it made me feel a little more rejuvenated from this world and now I feel awesome.
Well duh again, I'm always awesome so yeah.
ANYWAYS, Friday I had an amazing shoot thanks again to SPECS models from Montreal to bring me this amazing model from Vancouver for a shoot! She was an amazing young lady with such an awesome personality and we connected right away! One thing I love about photography and going into the fashion industry is meeting new people and getting to connect and work with them. You get to understand their opinions and work with their skills and all together we create this huge masterpiece of art which makes thousands and millions of fashionistas crave for and we make so many people happy!
WOAH THAT WAS A LOT BUT IT'S SO TRUE!
During the shoot I also shot my friend who is truly an amazing friend! AND PHOTOGENIC! Seriously just the fact that she went out of her way to get off of work an hour in advance and then to buy a bunch of things just for the shoot and to be at the studio on time and giving her 100% in shooting it was amazing! I can't thank her enough because she is helping me persevere in my career and helping me reach the top!
Again without her and my other amazing friends who are there helping every step of the way I just want to thank because I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for you guys and I'm greatly thankful for it!
Now other than the studio shoot, the next morning the same friend came over early to go do a quick shoot to finalize the spring 2013 project and again I'm so grateful for her because lets just say it was early and it wasn't the nicest outside!
I was actually quite surprised she accepted to shoot but that just made me realize how amazing friends I have and how happy I am to have them!
After the shoot I raced home and packed up my things and my boyfriend and I left for his cottage for the rest of the weekend. (alright I didn't pack, basically I got home loaded my pictures and posted them, and then my boyfriend came over and waited and then kind of pushed me in packing because I was so slow) BUT EVENTUALLY WE LEFT! And it was a great and relaxing time!
Honestly everyone needs a break sometime away from the city to just breathe the wilderness and be somewhat free. I find staying to long in a city makes me feel captivated like a zoo animal praying to go back in the wild someday!
Note to self: Watch Madagascar after this blog because it somewhat fits with what I kind of just wrote.
Anyways, from staying at the cottage I couldn't help but take out the camera and shoot some nice nature shots and breathe the great air!
My boyfriend took me up to these amazing falls where we hiked a little and had a blast just being in the middle of mother nature.
And then sadly the end of the day approached and my boyfriend literally had to drag me out to the car because I really didn't want to leave.
But then again being home and loading my pictures and getting back in my little routine and also planing my week wasn't so bad after all!
Anyways here are some photos from the studio shoot, the fashion shoot from saturday morning AND a couple of the nature shots I took at the cottage this weekend! Enjoy :)
Hey dudes!!
Hope you had an awesome weekend even tho over here we had a huge snowstorm last friday! But then it kind of all melted with rain on Saturday and then yesterday it was surprisingly hot and sunny so I enjoyed it by walking around Montreal soaking up the rays and people watching as I walk through the whole city.
I had a pretty awesome and busy week last week let me just tell you! After several months of contacting pretty much every model agency in Montreal I finally got a call back from SPECS models who was greatly interested in doing a collaboration with me!
A COLLABORATION? WITH A MODEL AGENCY? FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY! The agents there are really friendly as well so it made me even more happier and excited although kind of nervous. The lady told me that she has a very potential model who is only here til saturday and that she thought it would be a great opportunity for me because she is going to become huge and as highly stressed and excited as I was I gave her my mentors number to see if we could get a studio during the week.
And soon enough I walk into class on wednesday morning and my mentor comes and gets me and says: You're shooting tonight at 5.
............. what ? !
That's when the nerves kicked in.. But the first thing that popped in my head was THANK GOD I HAVE MY CAMERA!
Then, the second thing popped in my head: I never ever done a lighting set like what I was about to do in my whole life.
So basically all day wednesday I was barely listening in class, trying to calm my nerves and excitement when I kept reminding me in my head, Yes this is it! Finally some kind of break!
And soon enough class that day ended and I was off to the studio getting the flashes, etc setup nervous and excited at the same time.
As the model walked in (Probably a head taller than me and she was wearing flats..... so she was 2 heads taller than me as soon as she wore her pumps) I quickly introduced myself and suddenly my nervousness went away. She was genuine, nice and sophisticated. We talked and talked about everything and as we started shooting we were laughing and having a blast in taking pictures and having fun! It was amazing, a great experience and when it ended I was craving more.
It's a thrilling experience when you find that one passion and you make it into a career and get to the point in life where when you get the chance to perform and show who you really are it makes yourself feel so much... more!
For example I love photography and fashion, it excites me and makes me craving more and more but as soon as I'm in the studio shooting and seeing my results and getting even more excited about it, it makes me, me. Simply me. A whole new perspective of myself, happy as can be, and just me.
It takes years to really find something that truly shows who you are and describes you and I found it in only 18years! And it gives me the shivers yet I can't wait to do more!
And quite frankly I would of loved to shoot more more and more! 4 hours wasn't enough! It really wasn't!
So here is a couple of photos I did last wednesday enjoy,
